Bicornuate Uterus?- Ultrasound on Tuesday

After I stressed about the possibility of a bicornuate or septate uterus for a few days, my husband and I decided that, rather than wait until our next appointment to see if the baby was still breech, we’d rather know now what is going on.  I e-mailed our midwife and she recommended an obstetrician who will usually see her patients and told us what to tell him- that we are planning a homebirth, but our midwife is concerned about the size and shape of my uterus and would like a second opinion.

We have a consultation scheduled for this Tuesday afternoon.  Either we will see  that my uterus is completely normal and we can breath a sigh of relief; or we will see that it’s not, be able to see the degree to which it is bicornuate or septate, and go from there.  From what I read, the time to turn a breech baby in a bicornuate uterus is during the SECOND trimester, not the third.  By the time we would have had our next appointment we would be into the third trimester already, so I’d feel better knowing now what we’re dealing with and having the chance to be more proactive.

Also, I just feel that knowing is always better than not knowing.  If there is an issue, I will know to be more on the lookout for preterm labor, and if not then I can relax a bit.  I believe I’ve been having Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions for several weeks and didn’t really know it.  I wouldn’t describe them as painful, just uncomfortable and strange-feeling.  It dawned on me on Wednesday as I was driving home that maybe those tight feelings I get every once in awhile aren’t just Baby moving forward!  I tried to describe what they felt like to my midwife in an e-mail because, of course, I freaked out thinking I wouldn’t recognize preterm labor if it happened, and she said that they were Braxton Hicks.  Alright then.  She told me not to worry unless they are painful and accompanied by bleeding, so I’m trying to relax even though I have read that sometimes early labor is NOT painful for awhile, but is still dilating your cervix.  Ugh.  I really shouldn’t read message boards right now.  I kept having BH last night pretty frequently- maybe because I was tired or a little dehydrated?  Who knows.  I do seem to feel them more in the later afternoon and evenings, it seems.  I’m a little bummed because they are kinda cool to feel and I really just want to enjoy them without wondering if everything is ok.

My husband got home Friday evening, and I immediately felt better to have him around.  It makes such a difference to know that I won’t have to go through anything alone.  I also had spent awhile thinking and praying while relaxing in my bath Thursday night.  These are my thoughts: I can’t deny that sometimes babies die.  I have to be honest.  Sometimes it happens, and if it happened to my baby, I wouldn’t understand.  I just wouldn’t, and I don’t think I could be expected to understand.  But I would still trust God.  I would have to, and I would know that He was still with me.

That being said, babies also live.  They live despite the odds, despite the complications, and even despite the mistakes of those caring for them.  If God meant for me to grow this baby, birth this baby, and care for this baby, He will have given me a body capable of doing the job.  He doesn’t call us to do anything without giving us the strength, the resources, and the ability to accomplish it.  So, I will assume that God means for me to carry this baby long enough and well enough and trust that He has given me a uterus adequate to the task.  I guess if everything went perfectly during this pregnancy or if I never had anything to be scared of, I would never have the opportunity to build my trust in Him.  So this has been a beneficial experience even if everything is completely normal.  And I am coming to realize that this trust in God, this belief that my baby is God’s to care for, is something that I will need to have and keep working on for the rest of my life.  No matter the age of our children, we will always have to surrender them and their lives to God.

Thank you for your prayers.  I appreciate and need them so much!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. laughingpromises
    Aug 26, 2012 @ 18:57:10

    I have adopted the principle that if my midwife says something, I will go with that. I have stopped looking at msg boards (for the most part) to keep my sanity. I will be praying that all goes well and you find out some good news. I know it must be hard to wait to find out what’s going on, but I have a feeling everything will work out great for you and your bub.

    Reply

    • travelnole
      Aug 26, 2012 @ 21:01:26

      Hey, that’s a good policy. I should do that too. Message boards have made me feel better in the past (when I knew I didn’t have any special circumstances), but lately…. not so much. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement- it really helps!

      Reply

  2. andi
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 21:22:15

    cant wait to meet the little guy. i have a really good feeling about everything. and also that its a boy 😀 see you read it on the internet. it must be true 😛

    Reply

    • travelnole
      Aug 30, 2012 @ 14:41:20

      Haha! Actually, during this last half of the pregnancy I too think it’s a boy just as strongly as I thought it was a girl during the first half, maybe because I keep having dreams that I have a son……? 😛

      Reply

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