Month #2 Summary- We’re Pregnant!!!

So, I went into this month of ttc feeling a lot more calm than before.  I knew that I REALLY wanted to be pregnant this month for a variety of reasons (one big one: we’re going to visit my parents in Texas at the end of May and I wanted to tell them we were pregnant in person), but I also knew that God has perfect timing for these things and that I needed to do my part and then trust Him and be patient.

Cycle #1 had been really long, the longest I’d had in over a year, in fact.  Possibly, stress delayed ovulation.  This month, however, I ovulated on day 15, which was very encouraging to me! I used opk’s again to pinpoint ovulation, and Fertility Friend said our intercourse timing score was “high”- oh yeah!

Here’s the opk progression:

cycle 2 opk progression

This month I decided that I wanted to wait longer before taking a pregnancy test.  Last month I just felt really discouraged and sad when I saw those negatives, but wasn’t able to really come to terms with it and move on to thinking about the next month because it was still too early to know if they were false negatives or not.  I was just in limbo for about a week.  Instead of testing on dpo8, I wanted to wait until dpo10 or later.  I posted on the Fertility Friend forum, which helped me to feel like I wasn’t alone.  I felt amazing patient compared to last month, and it was fun to imagine that I might be pregnant (even though I really wasn’t letting myself believe that I could be).

I waited until dpo 12 and finally decided to test (my husband kept asking me when I was going to do it, hehe!).  I remember I walked into the bathroom saying, “I’ll test, but I know I’m not pregnant”.  Well……

BFP dpo 12 cycle #2!!!

That test line showed up right away and I didn’t even have to squint to see it!  I couldn’t believe it!!!  At first I thought maybe I had mistaken the test line for the control line, but one second later the control line showed up and I could clearly see that, yes, there were TWO LINES!!!  I was laughing and crying all at the same time and shaking uncontrollably.  I’ll never forget that moment.  It was CRAZY!  I could NOT believe I was actually PREGNANT!  I knew it was still very early at 12 dpo, so I tried to remind myself that things were fragile still, but I absolutely could not contain my joy over seeing that positive- and on only the second month!!  I immediately felt how blessed we were.

Somehow- and I don’t know how- I managed to walk into the bedroom and hand the stick to my husband with a straight face.  The look on his face when he realized what he was seeing was one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed!  😀  The rest of the day felt like a dream and I was sure everyone could see on my face that something was different, but I guess it wasn’t too obvious.  😉

So….  I guess I always imagined that once I got the BFP, all my worries would vanish and I’d be home-free… ha!  Was I ever wrong!  I have really struggled this past week with fears that something will go wrong.  I really have no reason to be afraid as everything has gone very well so far, but fears of miscarriage have haunted me.  Maybe it’s all the forum posts I read about women who lost their babies, I don’t know.  Somehow, though, I’ve had moments of terror that I’ll be happy and excited only to be devastated later on.  I mean, the moment that I saw that positive result, I wanted THIS baby at THIS time more than anything!  The timing is so perfect, really.  If  we had gotten pregnant last month, we would have waited another month to tell my family (if we wanted to tell them in person), and that would have been TORTURE!  As it is, I have to wait another six weeks to tell my parents.

Anyway, pregnancy so far has been one big exercise in trust, but that’s something I need to learn to do anyway.  There are going to be so many times in the life of this child when I cannot control what happens, cannot protect them from all possible harm, and cannot make decisions for them.  I’m already having to daily surrender this baby to God, and I’m sure that it will only get harder as time goes on.  Hopefully beginning now will help.

I always thought that the worst thing about first trimester pregnancy would be morning sickness (and maybe it will be- it’s still early!), but so far the worst thing (and I know this may sound crazy) are the moments when I just don’t feel pregnant!  I mean, my boobs are sore, my face has broken out, heartburn lurks, sometimes I feel nauseous if I don’t eat, I’m thirsty more than usual, and fatigue hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes.  Oh, did I mention the hunger?  I’M HUNGRY!  But still, there are multiple times throughout the day when I just feel, well… normal.  And it freaks me out!  I can’t see the baby, can’t see what’s going on, so how do I know that everything is ok?  I Googled this last night and found that a lot of women whose pregnancy symptoms are rather mild struggle with this fear.  Some visit the doctor often to hear the heartbeat (I can’t do that yet), some buy dopplers to do it themselves.  I take tests.  Yep.  I  took two tests a day for the first six days!  All positive, of course.  I was looking for an increase in hcg because I was terrified those first few days that it would just be a chemical pregnancy.  Once the due date for my period came and went, I felt better.  Now that I’ll be five weeks tomorrow, I feel even better.

Anyway, here’s my hpt series for both the First Response….

First Response hpt series

…and the Dollar Tree tests…..

Dollar Tree hpt series

The very first bfp I got here was using a different kind of Dollar Tree test.  Not sure if it’s newer or older, but it obvious was more sensitive than the other kind (Also, I was kind dehydrated that day so even my afternoon urine was extra concentrated).  I couldn’t find any more of that first kind, so I used the other Dollar Tree tests after that.  Notice  that First Response topped out pretty quickly, but I got a nice progression with the Dollar Tree tests.

After six days, I told myself that I’d quit testing, but…. I got a little freaked out last night because I felt too “normal”, so I took another one:

I know, I’m a freak.  That nice dark line was just what I needed to see though 😀  And it was JUST as dark as the control line last night before it dried out!

So.  Here’s my pregnancy chart.  I decided to keep temping until 5 weeks, which means tomorrow morning will be the last morning and I’ll then put this chart in the Fertility Friend chart gallery.  I’m not sure if that temperature spike on day 14 was from excitement or what!  Haha!  I was having a very difficult time staying asleep, though (if I got up during the night I’d be awake for an hour!)

Now, let’s talk about symptoms.  I did have them, beginning very very early- right after ovulation, in fact.  I just didn’t pay much attention to them because I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  The symptoms part of my chart is below.  Basically, my boobs began to get very sore almost immediately after fertilization would have occurred, I had the worst breakout I’d had in years, and I had some heartburn.  I was tired too, but what’s new 🙂

Since finding out we’re pregnant, my main symptoms have been tender boobies that are already growing (this is most interesting for my husband), some light nausea if I don’t eat when I need to, LOTS of thirst around the four week mark, and some cramping.  I had just a little bit of light brown implantation spotting on dpo 13, but nothing since then (thankfully). Just when I began to think that I didn’t even feel as emotional as I usually do during PMS, I had my first big pregnancy-induced breakdown- in a restaurant where I totally lost it and actually started crying- all because my husband couldn’t remember where he’d gotten this certain dish that I swore he used to bring home leftovers from!  It was so embarrassing.  I knew I was losing control, but I didn’t feel I could do much about it.  And my husband, knowing what was going on, kept talking about it with this HUGE grin on his face “You’re pregnant!” while I pleaded with him to “just stop talking and be quiet for a minute!”.  We had to send the waiter away at least four times before I’d finally pulled myself together enough to order…..  😛

Unfortunately, my endo pains have not completely disappeared.  They haven’t gotten worse, which is a huge relief since I know for some women they do, but they still happen sometimes, especially at night.  I’m hoping that will be gone in a few weeks, but I have read accounts of women with endo who experience quite a bit of pain as the uterus expands and stretches out scar tissue or places where endo has fused between the uterus and bowels or other organs.  One day at a time 🙂

I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

abbreviations:

  • ttc= trying to conceive
  • hpt= home pregnancy test
  • opk= ovulation predictor kit
  • bfp= big fat positive!
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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. laughingpromises
    Apr 15, 2012 @ 21:29:40

    Girl, get off those forums for awhile! I think they’re stressing you out more than need be. I can say this to you because I’ll need you to say it to me when I get my bfp!

    Also, I love that your hubby was so sweet about your restaurant breakdown. I will be praying for you and your baby and a healthy pregnancy.

    Reply

    • travelnole
      Apr 16, 2012 @ 23:23:03

      Thank you so much for your prayers! Yeah, I’ve totally stopped reading any forums where people talk about bad stuff happening. Now I only Google stuff that I know will make me feel better 🙂 You’re right- no use reading worrying stuff like that right now, and I will totally tell you the same when the time comes!

      Reply

  2. andi
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 15:27:02

    omg omg omg i’m so excited. 😀 i’m going to be an “aunt”. i cant wait till i can sneak and tell you before everyone else too

    Reply

    • travelnole
      Apr 22, 2012 @ 15:47:31

      😀 😀 😀 I’ll be waiting! I’ll probably just ask you all the time like you asked me, haha!

      Reply

  3. Eileen
    Feb 26, 2013 @ 02:11:12

    CONGRATULATIONS! 😀 One thing that really helped me when I was stressing about losing my baby were the words of a mom who had been there: if I did end up losing the baby I’d want to know that the time I did have with him/her was joyful, and worrying would do nothing but take that away. So I forced myself to stop worrying and enjoy it, because if this WAS all I got I wanted to make it count! That helped me,I hope you find whatever you need to help you enjoy this pregnancy! And yes, being able to feel the baby move and know you’re pregnant and all is ok is fantastic 🙂

    Reply

  4. Trackback: First Trimester Part 1 (Weeks 1-7) | Natural Birth and Parenting

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