The Sickness

No sooner had my husband and I returned from our honeymoon last September than I began to feel ill with a malady that can only be described as…  Baby Rabies!!  I got it and I got it bad!  I suppose I was already predisposed to it due to the relentless ticking of my biological clock.  Having all the necessary components of baby-making finally at my disposal (husband, marriage, home, husband), I broke into a full-blown baby fever.  Thankfully, with a careful regime of watching bratty children and repeating “I love my freedom” several times a day, I am able to keep my condition under control.  It is, however, always lurking beneath the surface and I should never let my guard down lest, in a moment of weakness, I beg my husband to make a baby… NOW!

In all seriousness, we do want children soon (one of us sooner than the other), but there is a right time for everything.  We’d like to pay off some debts first and get rid of one of our houses.  Also, I think it’s nice to have a few years to yourselves when you’re first married.  It gives you time to get to know each other in your new roles as husband and wife and to build a strong foundation for the trying times that will come later on when kids are in the mix.

Nevertheless, there are days when I count the months until we could maybe possibly start trying to get pregnant.  It’s not the first time I’ve had baby rabies, it’s just that now I know my baby-making days are really and truly approaching.  About 3 years before I met my husband, I had a bad case of it and no end in sight since I wasn’t even in a stable relationship at the time.  Still, every time I saw a pregnant woman, I would suddenly be overcome with the most intense feelings of jealousy and longing and would have to fight back tears for all I was worth.  Every woman on earth who became pregnant before me literally confirmed the crazy idea in my mind that I was being left behind.  As if being pregnant is a world-wide fad that will pass me by if I don’t do it in time!  But that’s the thing with baby rabies, right?  It makes you crazy.  Certifiably loco and not a little scary.

The thing that’s helped me most recently was, well, Oprah in fact.  Her happiness episode, rather.  Someone was saying on there that one of the things they’d realized when they were younger was that this time in life will never come again.  And something hit me right then that I haven’t been able to forget.  This time in our marriage, with just me and my husband in our tiny little condo with our cat, will never come again.  Someday I will look back on this period of life (like I do on all the times that have gone before) and remember it as a wonderful exciting time.  I’ll remember it with fondness and a touch of nostalgia.  I’d definitely rather remember that I savored it, enjoyed it, loved it than that I couldn’t wait for it to be over and spent the whole time wishing I was at the next stage in life!

So here’s to savoring life- and looking forward to the good things to come!  🙂

This blog is dedicated to all my research and obsession right now regarding natural birth and home birth and will, someday, chronicle my own pregnancies and the natural births I hope to have for our children.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Berthine
    Jun 02, 2011 @ 02:01:03

    I have this same sickness! I am magically cured by watching other children though!

    Reply

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